“He blinked. The mirage had not faded. The men on horses were very real. And they were very close.” I gasped at this! Really greats start, I’m looking forward to the rest. Poor Hal 🙁
Okay so I was NOT prepared to cry while reading this. Thanks for that.
I am so glad I finally started this story! Your writing style is vivid and developed in a way that makes the story you tell feel tangible. The way you described Hal marking the passing of time and the mirage of men grabbed my attention and lent to the style of your world. Your characters, even in the few scenes I get to meet them, already have a lot of depth and personality.
I love this! I'm not sure what it was like before you edited it, but I truly enjoyed reading this version.
A great fantasy opener, a little levity, a little heart, and a whole lot of pain. I look forward to seeing where Tylen's pain takes him. Hopefully he doesn't become too bitter and lose his youthful charm.
“He blinked. The mirage had not faded. The men on horses were very real. And they were very close.” I gasped at this! Really greats start, I’m looking forward to the rest. Poor Hal 🙁
Thank you! The third part in Tylen’s journey I’ll post tomorrow, I hope you enjoy it
Ahh I need to catch up
“The sun set in blood, and Tylen’s world ended with it.” Was a devastating last line. Great job.
Thank you!! That means a lot, have often wondered if it sounded too dramatic, glad you liked it.
It stood out really well especially in the audio.
I like your subtle world building. It’s clear this is in a different time and a fantasy realm without being beaten over the head with it.
The narration performance was excellent.
Thank you so much! I am deliberately aiming at the subtlety, happy to know it’s landing in that direction.
Okay so I was NOT prepared to cry while reading this. Thanks for that.
I am so glad I finally started this story! Your writing style is vivid and developed in a way that makes the story you tell feel tangible. The way you described Hal marking the passing of time and the mirage of men grabbed my attention and lent to the style of your world. Your characters, even in the few scenes I get to meet them, already have a lot of depth and personality.
I love this! I'm not sure what it was like before you edited it, but I truly enjoyed reading this version.
Oh my goodness thank you so much!!
Glad you’re enjoying it :) I don’t think I’m happy with it yet but I’m happy to know it’s landing at some level
A great fantasy opener, a little levity, a little heart, and a whole lot of pain. I look forward to seeing where Tylen's pain takes him. Hopefully he doesn't become too bitter and lose his youthful charm.